lies and hope.

I know what you're thinking. "What?! She actually remembered her password? She's actually writing again?!" Yes, I did and I am. :) So let's catch you up.

I'm now at Appalachian State University majoring in Business/Marketing Education. Since being here I've joined a co-ed business fraternity, Pi Sigma Epsilon, and I'm basically just loving life.

My roommate and I get along great. I couldn't ask for a better person to live with. However, just as all friends have problems, we've encountered ours these past fews days. Last Thursday, Liz told me she was going home for the weekend to help her sister go house shopping. I was going out of town for the weekend as well but I was going to a cabin with a bunch of friends from high school so it didn't really bother me that she was leaving. She told me she was taking the bus to Greensboro and that it left at 6. So I proceeded through my day and told her goodbye as I left the room. I had pulled over on the side of the highway to meet one of my friends that was coming to the cabin with us. As I was pulling back onto the highway, I see her ex-boyfriends car with her in the passenger seat. I was appalled. She lied to me. Flat out lied to me. I then proceed to text her to tell her I saw them and all she did was laugh about it and say "So maybe I'm going to State this weekend to visit Eric. Sorry I didn't tell you, I just know how you feel about me and Eric." So, what did I do? I ignored it. (Real mature, I know) But ever since we got back in town, things have not been the same. I cannot trust anything she says anymore. I feel like she's hiding things from me. It just bothers me because I thought we were at point to where we didn't have to hide things from each other. I know I don't hide things from her. I don't want this to hurt our friendship but at the same time friends don't just lie to each other. And why did she lie? Yeah, so she's knows how I feel about it. But at the same time, I can't stop her from going. I'm not her parents. Its her life, she can do what she wants. Just don't lie in the process. Sorry for this rant. I just needed to vent.

On the happy side of things. I've been shown hope the past few days. Over the past few months, I've strayed. And I know I have. And during the past month or so, I've felt like God is angry with me. As if, I don't deserve anything from him. But just as I was starting to give up, a prayer was answered. And don't get me wrong, I love my old friends to death. But sometimes, we all need new people in our lives to make us realize just how stupid we've been. Last week at bible study, my friend Laura started talking about how she had been making stupid mistakes and wanted to change. Laura and I ended up having much more in common than I thought we did. We've struggled with the same things all semester. This is a gift. I now have someone I can talk to that fully understands where I'm coming from and can encourage me to do the right things.

And just as Laura entered my life, Derek came into the picture as well. After last semester and my experiences with males in my life I began to pray for someone to come into my world and show me the right way to live. Well, just two weeks ago, that was given to me. I met Derek in my English class and it just so happened he was also in my Dance class. He is also friends with some girls on my hall and my other friend, Orlando. The other day, I had mentioned to Orlando that I thought Derek was cute and what not but I didn't really expect anything to happen. Well it just so happened that Derek and I had dinner Monday night! The more I get to know him, the more I realize that he really is the answer to my prayers. That sounds really cliche and I'm not putting all my hope into this kid. I mean, let's be serious. I've only known him for 2 weeks. But I can say that even the tiniest amount of hope that it gives me is definitely helping me figure things out. I just continue to pray that something positive comes out of the friendship. If anything, he's a great person and is trying hard to live a Christian life. One that I can look to, if I ever need guidance in mine.

So that's life at the moment. I just needed to clear my head. I hope y'all are having a fantastic week.