daffodils.

Anything I ever said about Derek, take it back. I never said it. I'm not gonna go into any details, but let's just say he turned out to be someone completely different. Someone, I didn't want to be with.

But on the other hand, its springtime! At least in Greensboro, it is. Its coming soon to Boone. The daffodils are fully bloomed in Boone. That's always a good sign. There's hope in those little yellow flowers. Spring always makes me so happy. Even though I get swamped with itchy eyes, a runny nose, and the worse headaches anyone can imagine. Something about spring just puts a smile on my face. Part of it is the busy-ness. So many things happen in the spring.
* I start working at New Garden on a regular basis again
* Baseball. and lots of it. Northwest, Appalachian, Grasshoppers, MLB.
* Cookouts, dances, vacations, etc.
* and so much more.

(PS-this post will be all over the place. i have lots to update you on)

My roommate and I. At the beginning of the year, things were great. We hung out all the time, talked about everything, and even had Thursday nights reserved for each other. Perfect, right? Not so much anymore. We never see each other, don't speak to each other, and never save time for each other. Its rather sad. I want to be her friend, I enjoyed our friendship. I come in the room and not a word is spoken to me. I try making conversation and it just doesn't happen. She has changed a lot over the year and I don't know if it was for the better or not. Her boyfriend and her broke up in December and ever since then things have not been the same. During the first semester, she was caught up with him and never went out to meet new people. While I was joining PSE and meeting all kinds of new people. Now that they have broken up, she has no one here besides a few friends that she sees on a very irregular basis. I'm just worried about her. I want to talk to her about things but I she doesn't. All I can do is hope and pray that God helps her out of this rut and back into the fun, exciting friend I used to have.

Boys and I. Boys are confusing. That's really all I can say. And its not necessarily them that are confusing. Its me that makes such a mess. I'm just indecisive and scared. My last relationship with Daniel did not end well. At first, I never saw an end. Boy, that was foolish of me. So when the end came, I was heartbroken. Since then, I've grown as a person and believe that I've become a stronger woman. But then, a boy comes along. I fall apart. I make myself vulnerable. Then, I end up getting hurt. Every. Single. Time. I'm done with being hurt. I'm done with being vulnerable. The next guy I'm with will have to come to me. I'm done sacrificing myself. He's chasing me this time. I'm not chasing him.

Ok. I'm done. As I've said before, this blog is mostly used for myself. It helps me straighten things out in my head. Sorry to bore you with all this. Maybe one day I'll write something informative and helpful to you people. :)